I wish my penis had an off switch
its not stalking. its research.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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