She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
