he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
