I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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