You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
