If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
