pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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