apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
