You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
