hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Are we still banned from the library?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
