I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PANTIES FOUND
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