i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
