the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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