Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
