How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am one with the molecules
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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