Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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