Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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