I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
