There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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