She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Drake has all the answers
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
