8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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