If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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