you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
