God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
