question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
