On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
