i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
