Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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