margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
