Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
