Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
should my penis look like a turkey
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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