We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
