my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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