Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
