She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
