Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
