She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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