I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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