I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
