i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
