i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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