Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
