I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
