When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
