im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
