I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
