if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need help removing her.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
