i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
