please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
