I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
