I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im having a threesome with these popsicles
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
